Grateful • Sara Laughed

It’s been a rough few days. Despite my best intentions (2015: year of health!), I’ve been sick for a week, making me less active than usual. I’m stressed about school starting up again (you should see my reading lists). Without getting too specific, my loved ones are having personal struggles, which fills me with sadness and frustration. To top it off, two days ago I went to the dentist and to my immense shame, I had five cavities. I have an enamel problem and am getting a prescription toothpaste. So there’s that.

With everything that’s going on with me and my loved ones, today was looking to be a pretty dreary day. To cheer myself up I was looking at some of the beautiful “curated life” blogs that I sometimes read, where young women write about their houses and babies, their clothes and craft projects. Today’s choice was Finding Dutchland, and this afternoon I found myself craving a simple life in the Netherlands with a husband and baby. I know, of course, that FD’s life is just as complicated and un-curated as mine, but a girl can dream.

And as I was admiring another person’s life, I was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of gratitude for my own. Even when things are hard, I am grateful for the roof over my head, for the friends by my side, and the many experiences and opportunities that the world has given me. I am grateful for a boyfriend who loves me. I am grateful for the freedom of not yet having a husband and baby. I am grateful for the chance to do things that scare me, including going to Oxford, which is currently terrifying me with all its pressure and potential. I am grateful for it all, good and bad, because it has made me who I am.

The world is cruel and it is generous. Winters are cold and long, but they too have their beauty. At their worst, my winters are still full of people who love and support me, and who stand at my side when the seas get rough. At their best, they are filled with so much more.

Love.