Hi friends! Today is the fifth installment in the Summer guest post series, brought to us from Holly over at The Blonde Chiffon. She’ll be talking with us today about long distance relationships!
The most frequently asked question I received my senior year of high school (excluding those inquiring which university I would be attending in the fall) was whether my boyfriend of two years, Richard, and I would stay together for college. Though I always responded with a polite yes, I was floored by how many of my peers genuinely believed that college was a valid reason (or excuse) to break up. Come on guys, I’d been dating the dude for two years…doesn’t that speak for itself?
Little did I know many of my new college friends would see things in a completely different light. And get this: I kind of saw where they were coming from…after I realized how unhappy their relationships were to begin with. This isn’t to say every couple that breaks it off for college is unhappy. However, a long-distance relationship certainly takes some serious commitment, and not everyone is ready for it by the time college rolls around. If you’re thinking about giving a long-distance relationship a go, here are a few dos and don’ts to help you stay sane and maintain a great relationship, no matter how far the distance.
DO do (yes, I just wrote “do do”) things together, even if you’re apart. Have you been binge watching “Breaking Bad” or “Orange is the New Black” together? You don’t have to wait until fall break to find out the scoop on Walt’s meth business or Piper and Alex’s latest drama. Pick a time when you’re both free and watch a few episodes at the same time. Sure, it sounds corny but it’ll give you two something to rave about next time you Facetime.
DON’T worry too much about missing your significant other. Long-distance relationships are kind of like death (did I really just write that?!?). Seriously though, they’re one of those things that get better with time. The first few weeks away from one another are tricky, but making new friends and participating in extracurriculars helps ease the transition.
DO have a life outside your girlfriend/boyfriend. Not only is it mission impossible to make friends when you’re constantly obsessing over your significant other, but it also leaves you two with very little to talk about.
DON’T be a control freak. College is the turning point in our lives where we finally have the freedom to make almost all of our own decisions. There are going to be circumstances where tension will naturally arise, often as a result of the jealousy or insecurities of one or both parties. It’s natural to feel this way when your thousands of miles away from your boyfriend/girlfriend, but establish mutual trust from the get go to avoid becoming neurotic.
DO establish boundaries. Though it’s important to trust your partner, it’s just as important to establish boundaries…before you pack your bags and say your goodbyes. Know and respect your significant other’s boundaries and expect the same from them. This helps to avoid discrepancies in the future and establish trust.
DON’T let others make your decisions for you. Some people have strong opinions about serious/long-distance relationships, especially when they’re at a young age. Not all of your friends or family may approve, but it’s your opinion that matters. There will be people who say you need to date around and have fun in college (even though hookups are kinda overrated, I think) and there will be others who will think that a long-distance, long-term relationship is awesome and admirable. Just remember to stay true to yourself and your own happiness, not someone else’s.
DO stay connected. Though you want a life outside of your relationship, make sure to keep in touch with your sig other often! Even if it’s just a quick text letting them know you got back to your dorm safely or a 10 minute Skype sesh before class, it’s the little things that count. Care packages and hand written notes can also go a long way. You won’t realize it until you get to school, but getting packages/letters in the mail is so much fun!
What are your tips for a long-distance relationship? Are you going solo?